“I thought [the abortion] would solve my problems in the moment. But I couldn’t have been more wrong,” shares Jennifer, who had two abortions. “My self-worth vanished, and I pretty much hated myself.”
After her abortion experiences, Jennifer felt so ashamed she doubted anyone could truly love her—or that she could ever love herself again. She carried this shame silently, fearing rejection if anyone discovered her secret.
If you relate to Jennifer’s story, it’s important to know this: you’re not alone. Letting go of the shame you’ve been carrying is possible. While the following tips can help, please reach out any time—we’re here to walk alongside you every step of the journey.
Understanding Shame and Its Effects
Shame is a deeply painful emotion that arises when we feel we’ve done something wrong. It often leads us to hide, burying our regret in silence.
After an abortion, shame is a common—but often unspoken—experience. Many women never share their stories, while others who do still wrestle with an undercurrent of shame.
The burden of shame can take a heavy toll. Studies show that carrying persistent shame increases the risk of depression and anxiety disorders, leaving individuals feeling isolated and unworthy of love or acceptance.
But shame doesn’t have to define your story. While it’s a weight you may have carried for a long time, there are steps you can take to release it and begin to heal.
How to Let Go of Shame
Healing from shame is about finding self-acceptance and peace with your past. This can feel overwhelming, but small steps can lead to profound transformation:
- Forgive yourself. Forgiveness is the process of letting go of feelings of anger, resentment, and regret. While it’s often much harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive others, the first step can be as simple as looking in the mirror and saying, “I forgive you.” Forgiveness doesn’t erase what’s happened in the past, but the more you internalize self-forgiveness, the more your feelings of shame will lessen.
- Bring your shame to light. Shame thrives in secrecy. When we hide it, it grows stronger. But when we share it, its power diminishes.
Talking to someone about your abortion experience may feel impossible at first, but it can be a pivotal step in healing. At Choices, we provide free, confidential one-on-one support and group sessions led by trained facilitators. Whether in person or over Zoom, these sessions offer a safe, compassionate space to share your story, release shame, and begin to move forward.
Many of our team members have walked this path themselves and are committed to supporting you every step of the way.
We’re Here for You
It’s easy to feel like the weight of shame will never lift, but healing is possible. You are not defined by your past decisions, and you don’t have to carry this burden alone.
At Choices, we’re here to help you find hope and healing. Let us walk this journey with you.
Contact us today to schedule your free, confidential appointment. Every resource we offer is here for you at no cost.